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Kindergarten

Tell us about a person who has made a big difference in your life! Maybe it was a teacher, a grandparent, an artist... or maybe a stranger you met on the street. Whoever it is... this is the place to officially recognize them!
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fredcowie
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Post by fredcowie » May 22, 2008, 7:03 am

Our son's kindergarten teacher is retiring, twenty years after he taught our son, who was then recently diagnosed with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy. Back then, right at the beginning of the school year, he took us aside and told us, "Quit babying him, you'll ruin him for life." Recently, my son, now twenty five and down to 90 pounds and unable to move his arms and legs--and who lives on his own with caregivers coming in to help--said something like "I'm glad you never told me I was diabled." So Karl or Carl, Wolf or Wulf, or however you spell your name.........you gave us a wonderful life, all of us........thanks, Fred
Frederick J. Cowie, Ph.D. Please visit my website at fredcowie.com, my FACEBOOK(/fredcowie) page where I post my writings and my paintings every day. Peace!

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Liebestraum
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Post by Liebestraum » May 22, 2008, 4:31 pm

Fred, thank you for sharing this touching experience. Though it makes me want to cry, I am grateful to hear that there are teachers who show to have real vocation and deep psychological knowledge.
Hoch lebe dieser Kindergartenlehrer!
May there be new scientific discoveries to allow the healing of your son's illness.
Love,
Margherita
Love is the One who masters all things;
I am mastered totally by Love.
(Rumi)

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fredcowie
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Location: Montana
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Post by fredcowie » May 22, 2008, 4:42 pm

It seems to me, after many failures and problems and pain, that joy and love and happiness come from coping and enduring, not from trying to be joyous or in love or happy. My son is who he is and that includes a disease. We all are who we are and none is without pain. It is how we deal with who we are that counts. You and I admire those who deal with more pain than ours.........but those like my son see it differently, they see that others have more pain than they. So you see, we are all just coping. Our goal is not to add to others pain and to lessen ours. Heal thyself.
Frederick J. Cowie, Ph.D. Please visit my website at fredcowie.com, my FACEBOOK(/fredcowie) page where I post my writings and my paintings every day. Peace!

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fredcowie
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Location: Montana
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Post by fredcowie » May 22, 2008, 6:47 pm

Margherita: Hit wrong key. What I meant to say before I so rudely interupted myself was, we have to heal ourselves first, not physically, for that is the least of our worries. But our anger, our sadness, our feeling of self pity. My sons have done that at young men ages. I had to learn from them. Before I was taught by a kindergarten teacher, I couldn't see my problem I was feeling so sorry for my son. What he really said to me was, heal thyself, dear parent, and your son will be just fine. I did, as well as I could at the time, and he and his brother, who has carried a heavy load, are just fine, finer than me, and that is fine with me. Our heaviest loads seem to be the ones we load onto ourselves. Peace and thanks for being here for me. Fred
Frederick J. Cowie, Ph.D. Please visit my website at fredcowie.com, my FACEBOOK(/fredcowie) page where I post my writings and my paintings every day. Peace!

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Liebestraum
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Post by Liebestraum » May 25, 2008, 1:32 pm

Thank you, dear Fred, for continuing your message, I highly appreciate your thoughts. It is not easy to deal with pain. It is quite normal to feel sorry for children who suffer, or for anyone else who suffers and yes this includes all of us, no doubt. In one way or another we all have known and know pain. Sometimes in my life I did deny and refuse pain, unable to cope. And the results of that attitude have allowed me to "survive", but then it is true we can only release pain, after having fully accepted it and after having been aware of it.
It is soothing to the heart to hear you say that you have learned from your sons. The mutual healing is a wonderful way of interaction.
Love,
Margherita
Love is the One who masters all things;
I am mastered totally by Love.
(Rumi)

Davidf
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Post by Davidf » August 13, 2011, 9:44 pm

Fred,
What a great teacher your son had. I, too, have a disability (Cerabral Palsy). My parents eventually had to tell me I had a disability because I had to go to a different school than my sister for "Special Ed." for a few years. They never gave up on me though, they always believed in me and encouraged me to follow my dreams.
~Davidf
Have a blessed day!

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fredcowie
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Post by fredcowie » August 14, 2011, 9:22 am

Wow, thanks for that. My son has since passed a year agi, but never one day did he whine (okay, maybe once in a while, but we never put up with it). He lived on his own, with caregivers who came in several times a day, all the way till he left us, at 80 pounds and unable for a decade to move his arms or legs. Lived on his own! I gave him a copy of Viktor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning which, just this week, I passed on to a friend looking for meaning in her life. I re-read it often. Like I told my son Christian, our disabilities (each of us has a passle of them) are our concentration camp, deal with it! Last week my other son, Jon, also asked me for a copy of the book. Like I say in my Gamblers Anonymous group (one of my disabilities, I have many others), "Play the hand you're dealt!" they don't like the gambling analogy, but it works for me. OR I say to my wife, Suck it up, buttercup! she doesn't like that either! peace
Frederick J. Cowie, Ph.D. Please visit my website at fredcowie.com, my FACEBOOK(/fredcowie) page where I post my writings and my paintings every day. Peace!

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