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Dreams Deferred

A place for great spirits to share their most beautiful dreams.
Arienne
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Post by Arienne » May 23, 2008, 11:31 am

I have lived my entire life with my dreams safely hidden away from everyone I know and love. I have lived a lie because I learned at a young age that "helping to make the world a better place" was not something that I was supposed to do. That beauty was what was on the cover a magazine not in the heart. That love changes every few weeks to days and does not remain constant and most definitely not given to someone like me who does not fit the mold. It was brought home to me that these were the truths of my generation. But none of this ever felt right. However I could not find anyone to tell me differently. Not even my own family.

There is much love in my life but very little to no understanding or acceptance. So many expectations for me and my life but none that has ever fit who I really am. I was ready and prepared to continue to live my life that way. Then two things happened. I found a book entitled "I will not die an unlived life : Reclaiming Purpose and Passion" by Dawna Markova and then I heard a song (really truly heard it with my head, heart, and soul) called "Where is it written?". The first line of that song is 'Where is it written what it is I'm meant to be?" I began to cry and did not stop for a very long time. Both of these experiences changed my path. I am starting (slowly but surely) to dream out loud! So here it goes folks! I dream of a world where every child is loved and healthy and has a chance to dream out loud! I dream of a world with no prejudice or war. A world where a woman can walk down a street in any place in the world and know she is safe. A world where violence is non-existent. I dream of clean air, innumerable trees, soul stirring vistas with no housing developments in site. I dream of peace. I dream of LOVE in bold colors and tastes and smells and touches! I have many more dreams but I will list them on another day. I do have questions though so I will start out with one. Why does society try so very hard to destroy that which is different even if it is good?

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Mammy
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Location: Galway, Ireland
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Post by Mammy » May 27, 2008, 6:00 am

Arienne, I think the answer to your question is Fear.
What is different is unknown and what is unknown is frightening to some people, so we try to what is different the same as everything else or, if that doesn't work, we reject it.
The opposite of and antidote to Fear is Love.
If we could learn to love every person, every situation and every circumstance our world would be a much more harmonious place and all those dreams of yours would be reality :)

Some day.... all it takes is people like you to keep in dreaming that it is possible!

Mammy x x x

Arienne
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Post by Arienne » May 27, 2008, 4:37 pm

Dear Mammy,

Thank you for your wisdom! You are right everyone needs a Mammy! I am learning that there are very few people that except people without condition. But maybe the wonderous thing is that there ARE people that do. My Grandfather once said that when you walk into a room, look for the one person that stands apart from everyone else, the one person that is "different" and begin a dialogue with him or her. Because more often than not that "different" individual is the most interesting and the most wise in the room (not always but most of the time). I shall continue to practice that attitude. The hardest part sometimes is to drown out the rest of the world and listen to your inner "Mammy"! Once again thank you! The wisdom of those from Eire is a wonderous thing indeed!

Love,
Arienne

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LadySolaris
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Post by LadySolaris » May 28, 2008, 8:00 am

Arienne, I believe this is the song you are referring to, at least this is what immediately came to my mind when you quoted a single line... A good song to share!

There's not a morning I begin
without a thousand questions
running through my mind.
That I don't try to find the reason
and the logic in the world
that God design.
The reason why, a bird was given wings
if not to fly, and praise the sky
with every song it sings.
What's right or wrong,
where I belong
within the scheme of things.
And why have eyes that see
and arms that reach
unless you're meant to know there's
something more.
If not to hunger for the meaning of it all
then tell me what a soul is for.
Why have the wings unless you're meant to fly
and tell me please why have a mind
if not to question why
And tell me where,
where is it written what it is I'm meant to be
That I can't dare to have the chance to
pick the fruit of every tree
or have my share of every sweet imagined possibility.
Just tell me where, where is it written, tell me where.
If I were only meant to tend the nest
then why does my imagination sail
across the mountains and the seas
beyond the make-believe of any fairy tale
why have the thirst if not to drink the wine
and what a waste to have a taste
of things that can't be mine.
And tell me where,
where is it written what it is I'm meant to be
that I can't dare to see the meanings
in the mornings that I see
or have my share of every sweet imagined possibility.
Just tell me where, where is it written, tell me where.
Or if it's written anywhere.

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Lion~*
Everything In Moderation
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Post by Lion~* » May 28, 2008, 7:24 pm

I have felt as you, Arienne... always felt different than the forces of people's voices around me. Told in many ways that how I think and feel is in conflict with socially spoken and unspoken rules and regulations. *DO NOT rock the boat...What boat? :0: I have been a fighter most of my life, but WOW! got sidetracked as to how I should be fighting.... not just for mere survival and duck & cover!!!... but fighting for the honor of living this life as ME. It is not an easy course ... it is all that makes sense though doesn't it?! It becomes more important with every truth and breath you take in.
I am empowered to do so now because I have the most precious friend who does bestow unconditional love on me constantly. She provokes my soul to say *Yes*

It is a great song, from Yentil. ;b Thank you, Lady Solaris for the words.

Live your life from the passion of your soul. It is your integrity that counts Arienne, don't allow anyone to stop you!

Dr Suess had it right...:
“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”

love Janice
Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart...William Wordsworth

Follow your honest convictions, and stay strong. - William Thackeray

The bottom line, especially for my character,
is the issue of unconditional love.”
Matthew Weeden

Arienne
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Post by Arienne » May 28, 2008, 11:24 pm

Yes! Lady Solaris, that is it! It was as if the entire soundtrack itself was tailored to fit the battle that I felt I was fighting in solitude. I new that logically/statistically that others must be feeling as I do but I did not know how to recognize them. How do you go up to someone and ask something so personal? Most people (even my family and friends) do not seem open to hearing anything that remotely smells of self analysis or introspection. As if the world is better off left alone and one should not disturb anything or anyone because you might just change something! And things that are different and new are something to be fought and tamped down. Oh Lion,Lady Solaris it does seem as if it is a war that we fight doesn't it? Or am I being too dramatic? Maybe not! The definition of life itself is change and growth! But there is such fear of it! And that fear destroys so much! In my case, I nearly my dreams to be destroyed in the name of "fitting in"! I feel as if I have wasted so much time! A friend once told me that he felt more sadness at the plight of people in 'rich' countries as opposed to those in poorer countries because the physical suffering found in these "less fortunate' places most often engenders spiritual/emotional strength whereas the emotional/spiritual suffering in rich countries is the silent killer and no amount of physical well being can make up for it. Sad isnt it? We have so much of nothing and so very little of what really matters. And those who try to find more are labeled "different". But there is always hope! I found all of you!

Lion, I am in my 20's and yet I feel like I am only now finding my identity! Hearing the lyrics of the song from Yentil was a switch being turned on giving me the impetus to see what was happening and change it. And finding this website was like finding someone (many someone's) to share my fears and my new beginnings with. And that quote from Dr. Seuss is perfect! I have the Butter Battle Book by Dr. Seuss and I have found such wisdom in his work. And a little wisdom goes a long way!

With Sincere Appreciation and Love,
Arienne

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LadySolaris
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Post by LadySolaris » May 31, 2008, 1:47 am

Dear Arienne,

You ask, How do you go up to someone and ask something so personal? My answer to you is simple: You just do. Why should you limit your own freedom of expression? Because others may not like what you have to say? *raising eyebrow. I have to premise that I am definitely in the "different" category of people. I cannot be anything but honest, outspoken, me. I do not expect people to agree with who I am, but I do not expect myself to adapt to them just because I am different either.

You say, Most people (even my family and friends) do not seem open to hearing anything that remotely smells of self analysis or introspection. That is because both behaviors embody the potential for self-questioning and thus are scarecrows. I live by honest introspection *smile. And no, you are not being dramatic at all - if you were, then you would be surprised at the amount of drama in this world *snicker

You mention "fitting in". I ask you: fitting in what? Much in keeping with Janice saying DO NOT rock the boat ... What boat? I like to believe that I am part of the fabric of life - which is colorful, varied, ever-changing. Janice used to believe she did not "fit in" either - until she had the terrible experience of meeting me :D Arrogance? Why, sure! By standards, I most certainly do not "fit in". Do I want to? No. I live this life by fighting every day to stay alive and prove that it can be done with honesty, dignity, and integrity. If I can, then everyone else can - being willing to is a different issue altogether.

As for "being different", just read my signature ;)

Be yourself, Arienne. It is easier said than done, but the risk is worth the reward in self-worth and in adding to the fabric of life something that only you can: yourself. As far as I am concerned, do not ever stop thinking out loud! Defeat fear, keep your mind clear.

Love, Solaris

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Mammy
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Post by Mammy » May 31, 2008, 3:45 am

Here Here Solaris!!!! :)

Standing ovation :p :p :p :p

Mammy x

Arienne
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Post by Arienne » June 3, 2008, 11:17 am

Another Standing ovation from California! Sometimes you just need to hear it from someone else! There is no Boat! And life is made better by those who are "Different"! I just needed a major "clean up" to get rid of all the crap that I have picked up and let influence me! Here is a quote which you all might connect with.

[i]" So many of us are afraid of meeting ourselves, alone, without distraction. We have been taught to fashion an image of who we think we are supposed to be and show that to the world. Through fear of knowing who we really are we sidestep our own destiny, which leaves us hungry in a famine of our own making. Each of us is here to give something that only we can offer, and when we avoid knowing ourselves, we end up living numb, passionless lives, disconnected from our soul's true purpose. But when you have the courage to shape your life from the essence of who you are, you ignite , becoming truly alive. This requires letting go of everything that is inauthentic. But how can you even know your truth unless you slow down, in your own quiet company? When the inner walls to your soul are graffitied with advertisements , commercials, and the opinions of everyone who has ever known [/i][i]and labeled you, turning inward requires nothing less than a major clean-up.
Traveling from the known to the unknown requires crossing an abyss of emptiness. We first experience disorientation and confusion. Then, if we are willing to cross the abyss in curious and playful wonder, we enter an expansive and untamed country that has its own rhythm. Time melts and thoughts become stories[/i], [i]music, poems, images, ideas. This is the intelligence of the heart, but by that I don't mean just the seat of our emotions. I mean a vast range of receptive and connective abilities: intuition, innovation, wisdom, creativity, sensitivity, the aesthetic, qualitative and meaning making. It is here that we uncover our purpose and passion.
The future exists only in our imaginations. It is a collective story waiting for our voices to express. That can only happen when you and I are willing to enter the emptiness, listening in the silence until we can understand how to create a future we can befriend.
.......What are the courageous converstions you need to have with yourself, and how do you need to have them?
May we allow ourselves stillness so we can open our minds to ourselves, and spaciousness so we can allow a moment of rest when all thoughts fly above us like kites in a strong wind."[/i]

[b]Dawna Markova "I will not die an unlived life"

After reading your reply Lady Solaris I went and re-read the aforementioned book. And I proceed with my "cleaning-up"

With Much love and Appreciation,
Arienne[/i]

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Lion~*
Everything In Moderation
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Post by Lion~* » June 3, 2008, 12:21 pm

Arienne... great sharing! Thanks! A good cleansing does bring great relief!

I loved the part : When the inner walls to your soul are graffitied with advertisements , commercials, and the opinions of everyone who has ever known

I really like this quote:

"Re-examine all you have been told... dismiss what insults your soul."

Walt Whitman, 1819-1892
Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart...William Wordsworth

Follow your honest convictions, and stay strong. - William Thackeray

The bottom line, especially for my character,
is the issue of unconditional love.”
Matthew Weeden

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