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My dream

A place for great spirits to share their most beautiful dreams.
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social butterfly
Beautiful Soul
Posts: 154
Joined: May 14, 2007, 11:12 pm
Location: chicago, il

Post by social butterfly » May 16, 2007, 11:19 pm

my dream is to take care of my parents. they have sacrificed so much for me, they consider me first in all things, loved me like no other. my dream is to have the means to spoil them with life. to give them a big beautiful home to live in (with no bills for them to pay!) to vacation whenever they choose to, without work to take up there time. to wake up everyday and enjoy life itself without hardships, without sickness, without death. i would give my mom and dad there fathers back, so they would never cry again for the ones who have gone away. this is my dream... :)

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Pollie
Beautiful Soul
Posts: 129
Joined: February 5, 2007, 4:03 pm
Location: AL, Ohio Transplant : )

Post by Pollie » June 4, 2007, 4:06 pm

Butterfly(how that seems to fit you)

That is a very honorable dream. It is funny about 10 or so years ago when I lived up North I use to listen to Paul Harvey. As I sit here I remember so well a topic he was discussing. There was an elderly lady who had had 10 children. All of them were wanting to put her in a nursing home which really saddened her. Paul stressed how sad and pathetic it was that one woman could birth and raise 10 children but 10 children cannot help one woman. I think of this often especially as age creeps up on me. :0: I am certain most children start out in life wishing these samethings. Mine have promised me the moon. But remeber in the end, a phone call, a trip to the mall or the movies, lunch for two, or even better comming home so that we can make you your favorite meal is often all we need ;)



Pollie
"The future has a way of putting in front of us, that which we most wish to leave behind" Unknown

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social butterfly
Beautiful Soul
Posts: 154
Joined: May 14, 2007, 11:12 pm
Location: chicago, il

Post by social butterfly » June 4, 2007, 10:50 pm

Awww thank you Pollie! i love my parents so much and i try not to take their love or their time they spend with me for granted. when i was very young my dad almost commited sucide, and i often wonder where i would be without him. he has given me so much and im alot like him. so i plan on cherishing every single day that i get with them both because they truly are a blessing to have. i will take your words to heart! :)

Agape Love,
Social Butterfly luv

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Mauricio Jaime
Fellow Traveler
Posts: 6
Joined: October 31, 2007, 3:14 pm
Location: El Salvador

Post by Mauricio Jaime » November 1, 2007, 7:12 am

Beautiful Dream!!!! I am sure your parents are very proud. I am the youngest of four, and I have seen my parents differently than what my brothers did... growing up with them has made me have your same dream. It is amazing how much they can love us!!! After I read your dream and realized it was also a dream I had, I went to my parents and I told them exactly that!!! we where having breakfast and I told them someday I was going to return everything they have gave us!!! I just went on dreaming out loud infront of them... we all ended up crying, but after that I probably felt the best I had felt in YEARS!!!!

Thank you for sharing your dream!!!
Javier Jaime

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Ron Atchison
Inspiration Peak
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Joined: November 18, 2001, 9:08 pm
Location: San Francisco
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Post by Ron Atchison » November 1, 2007, 3:51 pm

Just wanted to say thank you Mauricio for sharing your story with us - and giving me an idea!!! (Welcome to the Peak! ;) )

~ Ron

Fabulous Future
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Joined: February 23, 2009, 10:11 am
Location: Canada
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Post by Fabulous Future » March 13, 2009, 11:05 am

I am taking care of my Mother and have been for almost ten years - I am very glad of it 99 per cent of the time. There are days tho when I truly understand that a nursing home is an option . Mom is blind, has diabetes has had strokes and has heart issues and has alzheimer's ( and I am sure there are more things!!!)- so keep us in your prayers !!!

altho I also must say - as I write this I am acutely aware that there are many, many people out there dealing with much , much bigger things and am grateful for all that I have!!!!!!!!!
Life is hard by the yard
Life is a cinch by the inch
by my Dad

Be Glad of Life
because it gives you
the chance to love
and to work and to play
and to look up to the stars
by Henry Van Dyke

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Zanneta
Fellow Traveler
Posts: 15
Joined: June 1, 2009, 3:47 pm
Location: NZ

Post by Zanneta » June 3, 2009, 10:23 pm

I don't often open myself up to this degree - but would like to make a comment on perspectives I read here, from "the other side" as it were.

As a person living with health problems & disability, my children live within my home caring for their beloved mother ............... and their beloved mother loves them so very much, & lives with terrible guilt that I am stifling their lives. I so want them to spread their wings, to have their freedom as I once had, yet they remain ever vigilant "doing their duty" to a parent in need.
I ask you - at what cost?

At their own cost - the cost of their freedom, the cost of tasting the wonderful world out their waiting for them to experience.
They assure me they are where they want to be right now - I still feel & carry the guilt of restricting them from truly living.

I've always been a hard worker, & a strong provider - I'm not old enough to go in to a home, & still have an independent strong mind to want to still be of use ................ but I do carry the guilt I may bear on my beautiful children.
Just another point of view for you my dears. ;)
The end result is that love overrides all.
Christi crux est mea lux.

Fabulous Future
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Posts: 30
Joined: February 23, 2009, 10:11 am
Location: Canada
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Post by Fabulous Future » June 4, 2009, 8:23 am

I personally think it is very difficult to be on the receiving end of help- the difference is that my Mom has Alzheimers - yet often she asks me if I love her or like her and if I want to be here with her.
She seems childlike in her need for me to be here. I do not think there is much guilt on her part only the awareness of needing to be cared for and that she is so very grateful.

I always think- there but for the Grace of God go I and I really think that is why we do take care of people and the gift does go to the giver in the end. I feel very blessed to have had this time with my Mom and once the time has passed it is just that - it has passed it is gone . I do not feel the weight of the years past. I do think tho on a day to day basis caregiving can be overwhelming and caregivers just like to be able to express that - just the same as caring for a young baby.

It also teaches the whole family compassion and I personally know that if my Mom were in a Nursing home the visits would be short and infrequent. Whereas being here within the home it is just part of life that she needs help and the grandkids and great grandkids spend lots more time with her and help her.

I do however think it is sweet that you are feeling guilty or uncomfortable etc.- again IT IS SO DIFFICULT TO BE THE ONE IN NEED AND RECEIVE THE CARE (or a gift) I love when my Mom asks if I want to be here and do I love her - it helps me do the care each day and I realize that she does appreciate it as she often says so. I really do not think they would do it if they didn't want to be there and there is much to be learned by all concerned. I made the decision with much thought and consideration and am glad- I did not however realize the full implication of that decision anymore than we do when we have our first child!!!!
Life is hard by the yard
Life is a cinch by the inch
by my Dad

Be Glad of Life
because it gives you
the chance to love
and to work and to play
and to look up to the stars
by Henry Van Dyke

Fabulous Future
Good Friend
Posts: 30
Joined: February 23, 2009, 10:11 am
Location: Canada
Contact:

Post by Fabulous Future » June 4, 2009, 8:25 am

I just want ed to also say - it is hard being me (the caregiver) but it must be even harder for her being her (the cared for)
Life is hard by the yard
Life is a cinch by the inch
by my Dad

Be Glad of Life
because it gives you
the chance to love
and to work and to play
and to look up to the stars
by Henry Van Dyke

Fabulous Future
Good Friend
Posts: 30
Joined: February 23, 2009, 10:11 am
Location: Canada
Contact:

Post by Fabulous Future » June 4, 2009, 8:46 am

I just re-read some of my posts -
Dream Out Loud

I am in a cottage by the sea ( salt water a must) and the sun shines and then the rain comes and I am painting and I am with my partner - the love of my life- watching the seasons change and the seasons of my life changing as well.

My friends come and stay for a visit too when they can.

My children and grandchildren visit often and we play and sing and paint together.

I am the luckiest person in the whole world!!
Life is hard by the yard
Life is a cinch by the inch
by my Dad

Be Glad of Life
because it gives you
the chance to love
and to work and to play
and to look up to the stars
by Henry Van Dyke

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