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About Identities

This is an open forum - a friendly place to meet other great spirits and discuss whatever's on your mind.
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Ames0325
Good Friend
Posts: 32
Joined: February 6, 2007, 8:48 am
Location: Ohio, USA
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Post by Ames0325 » February 24, 2007, 11:52 am

"What do you do?" We hear this question all the time. But why? THis is something I have never completely understood. First of all why does this question specifically refer to our carreers or jobs...I do many things...Second why do many put such store in the answer to this question ? I am not my job nor does it define my personality or character. I have always wonder how people would react if instead of saying: " I am a full-time student and housekeeper." I said something like: " I read books late at night. Watch movies with my family. Bake Cookies and make scrapbooks. I fiddle with computers and am fascinated by numbers." I would love to see the strange stare that would most likely follow such a reply. But that answer tells you much more about "what I do" or "who I am" that the previous one.

I find it fascinating to observe how people (including myself) often find our identities based on the roles we are playing. For example:
I am/have been a :
daughter
sister
babysitter
friend
employee
housekeeper
student
lobbyist
computer scientist
girl friend
granddaughter

The list could go on for pages but it seems that these roles group together to form and identity that is unique and ever changing. Most often when I am asked about myself I find myself talking about my family more than specifically me as an individual yet it seems that while my family is larger than just me it is at the same an integral part of who I am. The more I live and grow and learn though it seems that we must have an identity than transcends job changes and/or lost friendships etc. We cannot base our identity solely on who we are for others. It seems we must also find out who we are for ourselves...what is left when everything else has fallen away? Where will we stand in our darkest moments? These are the questions that truly define a person and that most of us ( especially me) are not alway sure of the answers to. But I guess at least for me the one thing I always know is that I am a Daughter of God and that He loves me.

So anyway the question is how do you identify yourself? What do all these roles we play throughout our lives mean to you?

Thanks for listening to my long drawn out thoughts. Been pondering them for a couple days and needed a sounding board :D

Love,
Amy

Amapola
Fellow Traveler
Posts: 6
Joined: February 22, 2007, 9:29 am
Location: Curacao, Neth. Antilles
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Post by Amapola » February 26, 2007, 1:06 pm

Hi there...

(Amy, have you recieved my private reply-message?)

I have come to understand and believe that life teaches us who we are. Through life and the choices we make every day, through interpersonal relationships, we get to know and be who we choose to be. Life gives us the opportunity to be/become who we want to be/become. Who we are is defined by the way we are, what we do, how we live, all of our choices.....makes who we are....

Sometimes we choose something and by the outcome we might see and decide that this is who we are not...and we choose another path.... Sometimes we learn what we needed to learn from that particular situation at that specific time and then we choose to move on....to keep on finding ourselves....

Our daily choices tells us who we want to be at that time....teaching us about ourselves....who we are at this moment in time....

So, to me, every single moment is sacred, every situation, every emotion, every relationship...everything...because I believe it helps me find and create me over and over again.... Every moment I do ask myself what I've learned....about myself and who I am in the world... So, every moment is very important to me and I live very consiously....and aware of life and me in it....

How do I identify myself....if someone were to ask me....

I think I would say something like:

Someone who's very aware of the meaning and the purpose of life and who's living for finding the "me" I want to be in this huge universe.... This I do through all I do, all the choices I make daily, by being all that I am on a daily basis...

Is what I believe..... I love to think about such things too...

Love & blessings, -XAX-
"One sees clearly only with the heart. Anything essential is invisible to the eyes."

dance of joy
Beautiful Soul
Posts: 240
Joined: October 10, 2004, 12:33 am
Location: Gatineau, Quebec, Canada
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Post by dance of joy » February 26, 2007, 2:39 pm

I love your question, Amy. I don't have an answer to it, however. At the age of 45, I am just discovering now who I am. I suspect I will be discovering it until the end of my days... at least I hope so.

Love,

Christine
Wisdom tells me I am nothing.
Love tells me I am everything.
And between the two, my life flows.

User avatar
Lion~*
Everything In Moderation
Posts: 1896
Joined: February 2, 2004, 1:52 pm
Location: Canada
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Post by Lion~* » March 1, 2007, 9:26 pm

Amy, I really love how you have so richly expressed yourself here! Great questions also! I know some people who wonder who they really are and others who feel very unknown by others. Like you, I hold no merit in knowing anyone by their occupation! What I do really cannot speak at all about who I am... however.... How I do what I do really does a more beneficial job in explaining who I am.
For example:
I am a cook ... interprets into...I'm a Nurturer! I nurture with loving care the needs of my fast growing cubs! :D:
I am a chauffeur ... interprets into...I'm a Protector! I take great caution and keep alert to protect my cubs at all times when away from the den! ;)
I am a gardener... interprets into... I am a Naturist! I am rich with passion for the dirt, seeds, roots, bushes and blossoms that were created for our consumption, delight, blessing and respect
If I start to expound on anything else... like I am a writer... well it will end up to be a book and then... then someone might understand who I am... but perhaps not! :p lol

I would like to say one thing about what Amapola said:
I have come to understand and believe that life teaches us who we are. Through life and the choices we make every day, through interpersonal relationships, we get to know and be who we choose to be.
On the positive side, yes, this can be true. Most unfortunately some are taught some horrendous hurtful things from the malicious choice of others. It changes who they are... not of their own choosing, but by the severe infliction of wounds never chosen nor deserved. Some may never again know who they would have been without this devastation... but they can with choice, determination and seeking truth find who they really are in spite of the damage to the depth of their soul. .. resilience is a choice. Some cannot make the choice without someone to come along side them and help pull them up from the muck and mire life can fasten their feet in... because some just did not/do not know that their IS a choice!

Who we are... others will never know fully... interpretation or the *mis* of such... does none of us justice. Contentment comes from knowing yourself and being happy with who you are and how you reach out in love to others.

Love Lion~*Content, Loving,Encouraging,Nurturer, Protective,Naturist, Faithful, Passionate, Emotional in Devotion, Determined, Resiliant, MoreThanIEverWillKnowMyselfPaw :D:
Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart...William Wordsworth

Follow your honest convictions, and stay strong. - William Thackeray

The bottom line, especially for my character,
is the issue of unconditional love.”
Matthew Weeden

franz
Fellow Traveler
Posts: 14
Joined: February 10, 2007, 11:40 pm
Location: Dunedin, NZ
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Post by franz » March 2, 2007, 12:48 am

Hi Amy!
Good thoughts you've had.

I am who I accept I am.
I do not need to know who I identify myself to live with me. But if I someone was to ask me," What do you do?"
" I'm a student"
"What do you study?"
"bla bla bla...."

These are common things I found in life. I reckon this is a mean to communicate with others. Some people enjoy the company of others who have common background. Some others need a topic for a conversation to proceed. Simply, it's a common icebreaker these days.

As in I am my "personality and character", it is how you present yourself? Do I like my identity? Do I envy other identity? Do I hate it badly? What we present and what we think about us with others can sometimes vary. Imagine saying, " I am extremely adventurous", in monotone and no facial expression. SO, I am my" personality & character" is said without words but action.

I am too a son of God but I do not say it that way. I'd say" I go to church weekly and sing in a choir" then more talking can proceed.
Some identity are made to be discovered as we have a chit chat... otherwise it would be odd having nothing to talk about.

I once read, " We always think that we are more special than we present ourselves to others" As a result, we get drawn to our thoughts that others are not that as special as us, or others haven't seen the real full-and-special me.

So, Amy I especially know that you are special. In fact, we should always think that way. So that we can discover more things from other people, so that people around us can feel special.


Sweet Life...

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