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how do we undo friendship ?

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Soul
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Post by Soul » August 2, 2011, 11:56 pm

what happens when a friendship is lost ?
when suddenly, a friend to whom you mattered the most,decides to just leave you out of his life.... and does not let you know why he is doing it...

how do we undo the friendship then?

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Lion~*
Everything In Moderation
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Joined: February 2, 2004, 1:52 pm
Location: Canada
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Post by Lion~* » August 11, 2011, 1:20 am

Dear Soul.... You don't... you can't undo loving someone... at least I cannot... and have no intention to. I've been * undone* and have lost very treasured relationships. I heard a line in a movie several yrs back now,

* Though my back turned away... my heart never did!*

THIS... is how I deal with the deeply seeded sorrow of losing ones I love very dearly. Sometimes there is no choice but to walk away... for the emotional survival of yourself...and them. Sometimes blame blasts out at you and there is no repair... and you know the truth is you were not to blame. And sometimes you don't know the reasons...ever... however the seperation occurs.... I say * Cherish the love and time you spent. Remember the great value your relationship was and promises you made. Keep all you loved and remember what was difficult. Both are equally important! *

I cannot stop my soul from loving even when it's been shattered to painful shards. BUT.... when there is no more seconds left of communication... when closed doors become thick walls of separation.... you can't undo.... but you can go on being the fullness of who you are! Living your integrity! Sometimes the greatest form of love... is allowing others their freewill... their judgments... their own perspective.... and you go on being a true * friend* by living your life well and not hating nor resenting... but realizing that you may not always understand.... but you can indeed... always love no matter how impossible being communicating friends ever again will remain!
Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart...William Wordsworth

Follow your honest convictions, and stay strong. - William Thackeray

The bottom line, especially for my character,
is the issue of unconditional love.”
Matthew Weeden

Soul
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Joined: February 7, 2011, 8:57 am
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Post by Soul » August 11, 2011, 3:52 am

Hey Lion,

Firstly, thanks a ton for the reply.
I had posted the question after i failed to get any answer from within...though i am usually a self sustained person :^

your post is a reaffirmation of what I have felt and believed. Perhaps those doors are going to become thick walls and there is no point knocking on them any more.
I dont think i can undo the love either....that would make me someone i am not.I have not loved just because i was loved back.....i loved because i had a heart full of love to share.

So yes, though i will walk away.... i will still care and still love...
Just that it will always stay within me :)

Love
Soul

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Lion~*
Everything In Moderation
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Post by Lion~* » August 11, 2011, 9:55 am

Very glad it has helped! This might also... saw this on an old movie with Diane Keaton ... her character was dying and she said, * My life has been filled with so much love... Not just the love I've been given by them, but even more... with the love I gave them!*
That is a huge statement! It accepts the imperfections in us all and deeply values the abundance of love we each give. How often do we question the value of our own given love because of the negative responses of others? At one time I was told I only possessed * conditional love*....yet I know with all my soul that I loved and love as fully as I possibly could/can in all conditions. Trouble is... what you have to give isn't always enough or in the packaging that the other person/ people demand. To go on when you suffer losses of any type.... you have to soul search and look at the raw honesty of your soul's intent.

Where I have had significant love and losses... I can hold my head high that my life has been filled with deep love.... the love I gave and give still... even with the recipients completely unaware. Some might think , * What's the use if they don't know*, the use is * I * know and I love unconditionally and true to who I am...even when dealing with huge chazm of divides. It makes the worst bearable. If I became bitter and expelled resentment for those * losses*... I'd lose my core self and end up hating.... a very pointless endeavor.

It's not easy Soul... we learn and gain wisdom and keep loving even when we hurt incessantly. And you know what else? ... we need the experiences of others... cause none of us are truly self sustaining.

I wish you great blessings!
Janice~*
Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart...William Wordsworth

Follow your honest convictions, and stay strong. - William Thackeray

The bottom line, especially for my character,
is the issue of unconditional love.”
Matthew Weeden

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