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Why do people feel the need to...

Thoughtful questions about life and love.
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Lion~*
Everything In Moderation
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Post by Lion~* » March 6, 2007, 8:51 am

Why do people feel the need to change others' minds?
We all have different life experiences, core beliefs, spiritual knowledge and emotional maturities. Grace is empowering another to be who they were created to be and do what they were created to do. Yet humans try over and over to conform others into what they feel is the only way to be, think ... do.

We all have such rich potential to show our astounding personalities, talents and passions... yet so many of us withhold, retain and shrivel because when we speak our authentic vibrant selves... someone felt the need to attempt to change us... to disregard the gift of grace to another. To love one another with dignity and respect just the way we are!

Why do people feel the need to change others' minds?

Love Lion~*BeYourselfAndEnjoyItPaw
Last edited by Lion~* on March 8, 2007, 8:12 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart...William Wordsworth

Follow your honest convictions, and stay strong. - William Thackeray

The bottom line, especially for my character,
is the issue of unconditional love.”
Matthew Weeden

frieda
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Post by frieda » March 6, 2007, 12:27 pm

Great question,
Some people want to change others to validate their own belief system...These people usually do not stand on a firm ground at all.

We are trained to think in "duality"..If I am right, you must be wrong. That is why we have such a poisonous political atmosphere in our society. Every body tries to change the other. We will stop changing others, we all follow Rumi's advise in this Poem:

To the soul of the Beloved.
I have put duality away,
I have seen the two worlds are one;
One I seek, One I know, One I see,
One I call.
He is the first, He is the last.
He is the outward, He is the inward;
I am intoxicated with Love’s cup.

I think I have the whole poem posted on my blog.

dance of joy
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Post by dance of joy » March 6, 2007, 2:55 pm

There are hundreds of paths up the mountain,
all leading in the same direction,
so it doesn't matter which path you take.
The only one wasting time is the one
who runs around and around the mountain,
telling everyone else that their path is wrong.


(Hindu teaching)

Love,

Christine
Wisdom tells me I am nothing.
Love tells me I am everything.
And between the two, my life flows.

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Pollie
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Post by Pollie » March 6, 2007, 4:51 pm

Oh, I like that Christine. And Lion, what an amazing question.

I remember years ago, when I was a different person. I did try to change people to fit my wants and my needs, believe in my thoughts. I think a lot of that was I did not like myself at the time. And in truth it was about control. I had no control over my own life I had to force mine on them, to show them I was in controll.Misery loves company. As I grew to understand me and became ok with who I was and why I was this person, that is when I began seeing the beauty in others and how much they had to offer to me. I know that in one of my posting I wrote that my current husband and I have been together for 9 years and we have never ever had an argument. I believe that he has a right to his feelings right or wrong, that he is an adult and his opionion is not one that he was given but has come to be after years of talking with others, studying and learning. I respect his feelings and his opinions, I never try to change his mind. I gave up my control and my desire to transform others for controlling and transforming myself. In the end, (not really cause I am an every day cause :^ ) I became a better person.

Thank you for reminding me of that.
I wanted to change the world. But I have found that the only thing one can be sure of changing is oneself. - Aldous Leonard Huxley
Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you'll understand what little chance you have of changing others. - Jacob M. Braude
Love
Pollie
"The future has a way of putting in front of us, that which we most wish to leave behind" Unknown

dance of joy
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Post by dance of joy » March 7, 2007, 4:15 am

Hahha, I love that quote about not being able to change others!!! How very true! :D :p

Thanks, Pollie.

Love,

Christine
Wisdom tells me I am nothing.
Love tells me I am everything.
And between the two, my life flows.

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Lion~*
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Post by Lion~* » March 7, 2007, 1:10 pm

Frieda, Christine and Pollie,

Thank you for contributing your quotes and experiences.

I just discovered this one about 4 minutes ago...


People Do Things for Their Reasons, Not Yours

I rather like that!
Though we are accountable only for our own self, we are responsible toward one another.

Love Lion~*MayMyReasonsBeLikeTheSeasons...
Dependable,ButAbleToChangeWithTheTurningOfTheSunPaw





Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart...William Wordsworth

Follow your honest convictions, and stay strong. - William Thackeray

The bottom line, especially for my character,
is the issue of unconditional love.”
Matthew Weeden

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Look4Hope
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Post by Look4Hope » January 2, 2008, 3:40 pm

I agree that some of it is undoubtedly control. Sometimes it's fear that another might get hurt. In the long run the only one that gets hurt is the one trying to convince the other they need to change. A small percentage are blessed and get through to the mind and the soul. The soul has to be touched.

When do you give up that feeling of the desperate need to change another's mind? When do you dig deep and realize that it's your mind that has to change?

I spent over 20 years asking myself this question. I was just as driven as my drug addicted son. He would chase the unknown and I would follow because I just knew "I could change his mind".

This is a great subject because so many reasons come to my mind. Number one of course is religion. Then politics, marrying outside the family. Trying to change the minds of millions can cause war. You are all correct. None of us are God and we don't have that right.

Getting back to trying to change someone's mind that's hurting themselves. That is the most difficult to let go of. Yet there are times you have to.

Sorry to go on and on. These are my answers to that question.

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Trebissky
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Post by Trebissky » January 2, 2008, 4:40 pm

"People Do Things for Their Reasons, Not Yours"

I like that. Mind if I swipe it?

Too bad, I'm gonna anyhow.
SGT. JIRI TREBISSKY H&D SAS
"The mind and the sword are one.
If the mind is right, the sword is right."

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summerrain
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Post by summerrain » January 4, 2008, 4:41 pm

i dont have a deep & philosophical statement. i just think its laziness. in the sense that people dont have patience to believe that there is more than one way, and theirs must be the way. life unfortunately isnt always a gathering of the minds more like a gathering of twenty million minds. does that make any sense? basically most people aren't open to open-mindness, and thats unfortunate because its such a beautiful thing. ???
Life is like a coin,
You can spend it any way you wish,
but you can spend it only once"

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Morning Bear
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Post by Morning Bear » January 5, 2008, 9:22 am

I think it has to do with the deceit of having power over others.
I have never understood it - the power-thing, and when I've I come close to understanding it - It scared me.

I've experienced the epitome of people who can't even run their own lives trying to run mine, and I promised myself that I would never betray my fellow-man through such devicive actions.

True power is leading through the eyes of love, if you change a person by the powers of infusing the concept and actions of love into their lives - is change not a good thing at that point?

Main point is: you cannot change a person unless the change they seek is what you have to offer.
For me to believe in you doesn't require that you believe in me,...it only simply requires that you know and thus become all that you are meant to be. MB

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