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What do you do with an enemy?

Thoughtful questions about life and love.
Lynx
Fellow Traveler
Posts: 7
Joined: December 3, 2007, 1:46 pm
Location: Silver Spring MD USA

Post by Lynx » December 3, 2007, 2:51 pm

I am thinking of someone in a place I used to work. At first we were friends. Then his feelings for me became inappropriate. (He's married and has 2 small children. And I'm 20 years older than he is.) Then his feelings became an obsession! He'd make distasteful comments about me all day. Then he'd get me in choke-holds and use body slams in the elevator. Finally there was the big blow-up. I called his behavior just what it is: sexual harrassment! Upper management finally got involved and forbade him to bother me again.
We have gone our separate ways now, but can I forgive him? I still don't know. But it's best to keep a safe distance from a person like that, at least, till he matures enough to see the wrong he's done. And that might not happen in this lifetime.

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Trebissky
Good Friend
Posts: 36
Joined: December 16, 2007, 5:48 am

Post by Trebissky » December 17, 2007, 7:13 am

"The acme of skill is to defeat an enemy without fighting."

~ Sun Tzu, The Art of War
SGT. JIRI TREBISSKY H&D SAS
"The mind and the sword are one.
If the mind is right, the sword is right."

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Trebissky
Good Friend
Posts: 36
Joined: December 16, 2007, 5:48 am

Post by Trebissky » December 17, 2007, 7:16 am

m1le-st0nes wrote:I suppose it's harder for children though.
HARDLY! Have you never had a fight with a playmate yourself?

Kids can be involved in a knock-down, drag-out brawl one minute and playing hide and seek the next.

Why is it that ADULTS forget how to do that?
SGT. JIRI TREBISSKY H&D SAS
"The mind and the sword are one.
If the mind is right, the sword is right."

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Morning Bear
Beautiful Soul
Posts: 590
Joined: November 6, 2007, 2:32 pm
Location: Wisconsin - USA
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Post by Morning Bear » December 17, 2007, 10:58 am

My gut feeling is this:
No person affects me very severely by choosing to be my enemy unless they would harm those who I love.
When they are that kind of coward - I have no sympathy for them and would not slight them, just simply devour them.
I will seek whatever accord it is I can seek unless it gets to that point.
Admittedly - that emotion is my weakness. I would rather lose toward gaining the welfare of my loved ones than to submit to the enemy and have them harm my loved ones anyway.
For me to believe in you doesn't require that you believe in me,...it only simply requires that you know and thus become all that you are meant to be. MB

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Look4Hope
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Posts: 40
Joined: December 14, 2007, 3:33 pm
Location: NC/relocated Jersey girl

Post by Look4Hope » December 17, 2007, 1:08 pm

I would have to agree with Don. For me distance would be best. The quote from Polli was good:

If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man's life suffering and sorrow enough to disarm all hostility.
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

In some cases you do know what history the enemy is carrying and it is best for all to forgive silently in your heart but distance yourself from that person. Sadly there are those that do not wish to be disarmed.

“Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life, but define yourself.”
Harvey S. Firestone

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Trebissky
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Posts: 36
Joined: December 16, 2007, 5:48 am

Post by Trebissky » December 20, 2007, 8:06 am

“Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life, but define yourself.”
Harvey S. Firestone
Now THAT is a good one! Especially the part about not ALLOWING YOURSELF to be made a victim.
SGT. JIRI TREBISSKY H&D SAS
"The mind and the sword are one.
If the mind is right, the sword is right."

ebullientenigma
Beautiful Soul
Posts: 73
Joined: November 29, 2007, 2:34 pm

Post by ebullientenigma » January 4, 2008, 4:56 pm

With an enemy, I pray for that person.

I try my best to learn the lesson that I believe that needs to be learned from this situation. How did this situation manifest itself?
Why am I involved in this?
How can I turn this into a blessing?

brianlove84
Fellow Traveler
Posts: 5
Joined: February 20, 2008, 12:51 pm

Post by brianlove84 » February 20, 2008, 3:18 pm

There's a saying from Confusius, "keep your friends close, your enemies closer."

I agree to this saying.

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zoro
Beautiful Soul
Posts: 62
Joined: December 25, 2007, 7:26 am

Post by zoro » February 23, 2008, 6:45 am

I am not sure if I have matured enough to forget and forgive my enemy quickly, though I have realised that for my own good it is better to do this. :) :)

zoro-embracing happiness

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ladybird
Beautiful Soul
Posts: 1115
Joined: September 17, 2007, 2:41 am
Location: New Zealand

Post by ladybird » February 23, 2008, 2:37 pm

There is no greater disaster
than enemy-making,
For then you lose your treasure...
Your peace.
When conflict arises,
Compassion* always prevails...
~ Lao Tzu


love ladybird
luv luv luv
*In some cases this compassion takes the form of Justice and Karma
Sunshine surrounds the earth as love surrounds our souls. ~Amethyst Snow-Rivers

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