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Inspiration Peak Forums • Confession
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Posted: July 8, 2008, 3:02 am
by Mammy
This is how I treated her;
When she was tired I forced her to keep working.
When she was hungry I wouldn’t let her eat,
When she was thirsty I made her wait,
When she was sad I insisted she put on a happy face,
When she was playful I told her to be sensible,
When she was sick I wouldn’t take care of her.
When she was on her knees and still trying her best I told her she was stupid and worthless and lazy and shouted at her to get up and keep going.
I never praised her for any of her accomplishments or acknowledged any of her good points.
I was cruel, heartless, thoughtless and hateful to her.
I was ashamed of her and disgusted by her and the more she did for me, the more I detested her.
I didn’t appreciate the gifts she brought – a wicked and irreverent sense of humour, honesty, trustworthiness, integrity, loyalty, vision and, most of all, love.
I berated her body for not being thin enough, tall enough, beautiful enough.
For many, many years I tried to disassociate myself from her, to pretend I had nothing to do with her because, as far as I was concerned, she just wasn’t good enough.
I didn’t like anything about her.
I didn’t like her hair.
I didn’t like her face.
I didn’t like her voice.
I didn’t like her body.
I didn’t like the way she moved.
I didn’t even like her name.
Everything about her disappointed me.
And with good reason.
She forgot how to be a child at a very young age and made a total mess of trying to be an adult.
She was always on the move, always wanting to be somewhere else, somewhere better.
Everywhere she went she attracted lame ducks and stray dogs and was always surrounded by an assortment of people in need of something – and she loved them all!
She left school early and never managed to acquire any significant and useful qualification.
Her relationships were always disastrous and short-lived.
When she did find somebody to marry her, he was unfaithful, but she was stupid enough to forgive him and allow him back into her life.
She never had any money and always lived in a state of lack, making do on very little and never achieving any kind of financial security.
She was nobody, nothing and I despised her.
Then one day, as she was going down for the third time and I was so angry with her for not being perfect, something made me see the utter futility of what I was doing to the amazing, talented, precious being that is Me.

Posted: July 8, 2008, 5:22 am
by lem
A BIG warm ***hugggg*** for one amazing, talented & precious mammy. . . luv

Posted: July 15, 2008, 7:59 am
by flyingrabbit
a really great lesson, Mammy! :)
thank you so much!

love ourselves first before we can love others and others can love us..

Posted: July 15, 2008, 9:45 am
by Ron Atchison
You hit the nail on the head Mammy! How can we clearly see the beauty in others if we can't see the beauty in ourselves? How can we be there for others if we can't be there for ourselves?

Once in awhile we have to take a look in the mirror - look deep into our own eyes and say 'hey... I like me. I may not be perfect, but this doesn't keep me from trying and I admire myself for that. I may not have all the answers but at least I'm asking a few good questions. I may not have accomplished everything I've set out to do... but hey, I'm not finished yet!'

Thank you so much for this Mammy... you are amazing!! ;)

~ Ron

Posted: August 17, 2008, 12:14 pm
by Liebestraum
Wow, dear Mammy, this was a fantastic write. I thought, oh my, with whom can we be that cruel? With ourselves, yes!!
So good that there was the happy ending!
You enlighten us.
Thank you.

Posted: January 6, 2009, 3:28 am

Posted: January 6, 2009, 1:43 pm
by Celtic Warrior
Dear mammy

I just read this now. What a marvellous piece! As i sat there reading I thought to myself "Goodness, surely mammy would not have treated anyone like this". and the ending left me sitting here in stunned silence. Yes mammy - yes I say! Been there, done that.

What a clever way to articulate this habit of knocking ourselves. Someday I hope that our wonderful Mayor Ron might think of publishing a book of inspired thoughts and wisdom that come from the wonderful peakers on this site and if he does i hope he includes this honest awe inspiring and brave piece of writing. Thank you mammy for sharing of yourself. Know that in your sharing you bring light and hope to many. As I say, I just discovered this piece by accident. I hope that many more do too!

Love and light to you dear mammy


Posted: January 7, 2009, 5:27 am
by Mammy
Thank you :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

Posted: April 18, 2013, 1:57 am
by glenjohnson44
My mom has always taught me since my childhood that confession is the safest way rather than escapism through concealing or keeping silent.