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Dear Lion~*,
I have been in a relationship with
an amazing young man for the past 2 years. We are both under 24
and are starting to feel the pressure of deciding what our
future holds for us as a couple. I care about him deeply, but
have started to feel that I need to experience other things to
decide if this should be forever. Is it true that when it is
right you just know? Oh Lion, is it completely selfish for me to
bring up a break from our relationship? I feel as though I am
missing out on something, and I think that's the flashing light
telling me something needs to change. How do I keep a positive
outlook and make the right decision?
Unsure
California, USA
Dear Unsure,
It is normal to wonder if “this is the ONE”. Pressure to
commit for your future adds anxiety and makes you
question.
Ask yourself though where the pressure is coming from.
Is it coming from your 'self', from him, or from others?
If you are not sure if you want to dedicate your
forever, do not. You are young. You have time. If there
are things you wish to do for yourself, do them. You
only get to live your life once and this relationship
may or may not be a forever thing…you are!
Here are some other good questions you might ask
yourself:
Does this relationship make me:
- Feel deeply loved.
- Feel empowered to be who I am meant to be.
- Are my emotional, physical and spiritual needs met?
- Am I open and honest in expressing myself?
- Is my partner open and honest with me?
- Do I feel fulfilled?
When you are completely honest with yourself, you will
be able to make a decision you feel good about!
Wishing you all the best!
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Dear Lion~*,
Can you please suggest ways to help me become humble and
patient?
Help Me Be
Bangalore, India
Dear Help Me Be,
Humble is not … “Oh, I am so lowly and small.” To be
humble is to accept the truth that you are an incredible
human being born with vast potential. It is to embrace
all of who you are, each strength and weakness. It is to
say “I am confident and I am also so scared. I know I am
wise and sometimes I make such unwise choices. I love
and yet I also cause hurt.” .
As far as 'patience' is concerned, be kind to yourself
and to others. None of us are meant to be perfect. We
need our strengths and weaknesses and accepting our
humanity with raw honesty, vulnerable fragility and
strength is important in embracing true humility and
patience.
With love,
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Dear Lion~*,
I am a 21-year-old guy and last April it happened that I had to
break up with my girlfriend of one year. (She dumped me)
It took me eight months to get over everything. And the result
is now I really fear to commit myself to any lady. Please give
me some advice before the situation gets out of hand.
Getting Over It
Nairobi, Kenya
Dear Getting Over It,
Some relationships are simply not meant to be forever.
For reasons only you and your ex-girlfriend can know,
this was one of those relationships.
Break-ups hurt when feelings of rejection rise up .
Feelings and fact often do not add up. Often it is a
matter of being incompatible or having needs that just
cannot be fulfilled within a certain relationship. It
is OK to not completely click with another person and
move on. That acceptance is important.
You say you are over everything, yet you are gripped by
fear. So what if you do not commit yourself to any one
individual for awhile? Why not just commit to yourself?
Love yourself and accept the truth that you are a
valuable young man who has many heart and soul dreams.
In time, the fear will diminish and you will find
yourself attracting many good things and wonderful new
people into your life.
With love,
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Dear Lion~*'
is a monthly feature where our friendly neighborhood
advice columnist answers some of your most pressing
questions about life, love and the pursuit of happiness!
If you have a question for Dear Lion~* please
click here. |
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